tonight at the state of the union address, the ceo of apple and a nasa engineer both sat with michelle obama. yep. the president said he hopes it sends a message to americans that if you can't sit close to your wife, surround her with nerds. [ laughter ] oh, i know who is going to sit next to michelle. here's a major international story. earlier today north korea conducted its third nuclear test, and afterwards iran called for all nuclear weapons to be destroyed. you know it's bad when even ahmadinejad is like, "this kim jong-un dude is crazy man." [ laughter ] we got to -- this guy is nuts. i can't even deal with him now. are you kidding me? some tv news. last night on "the bachelor," -- do you guys watch "the bachelor?" [ cheers ] sean narrowed down his choices to the final four. of course, we'll all know when he's made his final decision when he releases a plume of white smoke. [ laughter ] you guys, tomorrow is the first day of lent, when catholics begin fasting for 40 days. some catholics will give up chocolate, some catholics will give up alcohol, and one catholic is giving up be